|—||Philipp Lahm (via jupp-heynckes)|
THE MARAUDERS SPENT THREE YEARS TRYING TO BECOME ANIMAGI
THEY ACHIEVED IT IN THEIR FIFTH YEAR
THAT MEANS THREE TWELVE YEAR OLDS DECIDED TO TURN INTO ANIMALS FOR A WEREWOLF THEY HAD MET JUST ONE YEAR PRIOR
DONT TOUCH ME I AM NOT OKAY
That opens up with chanting in a different language
With the royal family
And the adorable children
And the tragic death(s)
And then our hero runs away
And sings a really catchy song about being free
Without realizing that the kingdom is in ruins
And is being ruled by a villain who wants to be king
A villain who is really good at causing guilt trips
And so our hero goes back
And they all live happily ever after
It’s such a great movie
When he was 2 years old, he fell out of a second story window and fractured his skull
When he was 6 years old, he mistakenly drank boric acid.
When he was 9 years old, he fell over a small cliff and broke his leg.
When he was 11 years old, he contracted measles and was in a coma for nine days.
When he was 14 years old, he broke his arm when he caught it in a carriage door.
When he was 19 years old, he was struck on the head by a falling brick.
When he was 23 years old, he almost died from the effects of tainted wine.
When he was 29 years old, Adolph Sax invented the saxophone.
clearly someone didn’t want that saxophone invented
THIS NEEDS TO BE A 300-PAGE SCI-FI NOVEL BECAUSE I WOULD READ THE HELL OUTTA THAT
alternative house words:
- stark: bad decision making 101 (now with 110% more honor)
- targaryen: incest is best
- lannister: dolla dolla bills ya’ll
- baratheon: oh i just cant WAIT to be king
- tyrell: flowers and homosexuals
- greyjoy: fuck u i won’t do what u tell me
- tully: [fish noises]
- martell: we’re fuckin badass and u all know it
- bolton: u came 2 the wrong neighborhood mothafucka
- frey: even we don’t like us
|—||Ancient proverb for defusing tense family situations (via marthajefferson)|
Wisconsin snow storm versus flooding in Ireland
Ireland isn’t fucking around with the sealing capabilities of their doors
Even the most sexed up man in all of history knew that taking advantage of women was never ok.